Compatibility matters…but it might not be as important as you think.

Did you know that there are different types of abuse? Although all abusive behavior is unacceptable, the type of abuse happening in your relationship determines whether it can be addressed by you and your partner together versus through separate individual or group therapy.

In particular, psychological aggression is a common but very harmful form of relational behavior.

Is stonewalling the product of a physiological overwhelm state where someone gets too shut down to respond? Or is it a manipulative technique to disempower another person?

You are uncomfortable with your partner's porn use. Eek! What should you do?

Separation. It's a big, scary word when it comes to your relationship. And what does it even mean? 

Have you ever been in a fight with your partner, trying your best to explain just why their actions hurt you, and suddenly, out of nowhere, they throw out a separate complaint of their own?

Couples typically come to therapy hoping to cultivate feelings of warmth, love, and connection in their relationship. I want those outcomes for you, and I love helping partners regain connection. But sometimes I also encourage the couples I work with to set another goal - tolerance.

A common piece of advice that couples receive (from self-help books, the internet, and therapists) is to communicate using “I statements.” But this seemingly simple tip can actually lead some couples astray. In this post, I break down why “I statements” might not work for you and how to focus on what really matters instead.

Couple Therapy for high conflict relationships is a speciality, but it’s not one with one particular training, schooling, or background. You won’t find a list of “high conflict couples therapists" in a list or database. However, there are strategies you can use to evaluate potential therapists for their skillset and fit.

Although I work with all kinds of couples, I specialize in helping partners whose relationships are “high conflict.” High conflict couples have a lot of intense, out-of-control, and hurtful fights.